When I was training to be a coach I assisted for a class at my coaching school. On the first day of an endless session where the students practiced and the assistants sat quietly at the back of the room, I got bored. I’d brought a book and without thinking, I asked one of the leaders if I could read during the practice session. Had I thought about it I would have realized that this absolutely wasn’t done – no assistant had ever sat and read during any of the classes I’d attended.
As the leader very kindly explained to me why I couldn’t read during the session, my face burned with shame. For the next two days of class I felt like a fool. I was sure that she’d told the other instructor about my ridiculous question, and I imagined that some of their instructions over the next couple of days were directed at me, just in case I had any other brainless ideas.
I was so embarrassed I almost didn’t tell anyone, but finally I confessed to my coach, Michael.
What was Michael’s response?
“So what?” he said. “You’re human.”
And, just like that my embarrassment and shame evaporated. I realized that although I thought my question was disastrously stupid, the leader probably hadn’t given it much thought. And even if she had, even if she paused and thought, “Here’s a dumb one,” what did it really matter? It’s true she was the class leader but, as Michael would say, so what? We were both there for the same purpose – to help train coaches.
Now when I goof up it leaves a different residue. Sure, I’m still embarrassed, and I still get that flash of “What will they think?” panic. But it quickly fades as I reconnect with the fact my blunder is merely a moment’s lapse of judgment – nothing more. It’s not the first mistake I’ve made and it won’t be the last.
And that’s ok, because I’m human and that’s just part of the package.
***
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Oh – I totally could feel how you felt. I was reading about your face getting red and I had the same physical reaction. I was completely in the moment. I love that I understand your writing. And on the bright side, asking to read really isn’t that bad in my book (book…get it :)
Dang, it was embarassing!! Thanks Cindy :)
Your reaction is completely understandable. I guess we sometimes get caught up in worrying too much about what others think of us. Like you, I’m learning to give myself a break. I’m human and I screw up sometimes just like everyone else. And life always always always goes on.
So true, Nea! Thanks for your comment.
so true!! sometimes we give extra care to something while in fact others never notice it, thank u for posting this Melinda :)
Thanks for your comments, Farouk!
My brothers were always so good at that. “O well!” It’s very liberating!
Yeah, it’s a great way to be!!
Mindy