The Easy Place

The Quest for Self Awareness One Moment at a Time

Valentine’s Day for the Rest of Us

I’m not very lucky in love so I haven’t had a huge number of romantic Valentine’s Days in my life.  But when it comes down to it, those aren’t the Valentine’s Days I remember most, anyway.  

Be MineWhat comes to mind are the Valentine’s Days from my childhood.  The elaborately orchestrated celebrations at school – depositing my carefully signed valentines into lavishly decorated shoeboxes and breathlessly opening my own cards.  Then arriving home to find the heart-shaped box of candy my Mother had left on my bed.

In those days Valentine’s Day made me feel special, loved.  But somewhere along the way the holiday turned into a kind of win/lose situation – if I had a boyfriend I won, if I didn’t I was a lonely loser, waiting with my single friends for the day to be over. 

We make Valentine’s Day about romance, but it doesn’t have to be.  Those valentines I cherished in childhood weren’t from potential husbands, they were from my friends.  I didn’t rip through the box of candy on my bed hoping for an engagement ring from Mr. Right, it was from my Mom and that was enough.

If we choose to, we can bring back the simplicity of those Valentine’s Days.  All we have to do look around and be grateful for what we have right now. We can appreciate our friends who are there for us when we need them, or the co-workers who put up with our cranky Mondays and lapses in cubicle etiquette.  We can be thankful for our family members who take us as we are, without asking for more.     

So this Valentine’s Day I’m focusing on what’s around me – all the love I already have in my life.   The love I have for my friends and family who have been there for me even when I’m at my worst.  The love I have for those who’ve allowed me to be a part of their growth, and, in doing so have become a part of mine.    

And, the love I have for you, dear reader, for taking the time to read my blog.


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7 responses to “Valentine’s Day for the Rest of Us

  1. Laurie Lamson February 9, 2010 at 9:48 am

    Dear Melinda,

    I totally agree with you. Love can be shared at any time with anyone, and we all need it. People who feel unloved this Valentine’s Day might try sharing their care and attention with a fellow human who is also missing love in their lives.

    I also believe that every day could be Valentine’s Day – whether in a relationship or not – why do we have to save it up for one day? Let’s start letting people in our lives know we appreciate them all year long.

    I just posted an article on the New Love Paradigm on how to update your view on dating and mating. Maybe you’d be interested in checking it out?

  2. niki February 9, 2010 at 7:40 pm

    love you!! :) <3

  3. De February 10, 2010 at 9:06 am

    Well said (written?) I have always felt V Day was for all you care about. Heck even our 4 legged monsters get special cookies.

  4. Marcia February 10, 2010 at 7:55 pm

    Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Melinda. Here’s a BIG HUG for you!

  5. Debbie C February 16, 2010 at 2:27 pm

    While the end of my V Day this year was spent happily with my life partner/spouse/friend, the beginning of the day was spent with my 95-year-old grandmother, and included pigging out together on a delicious box of chocolates. She was lovely in her white jeans and shirt with her red scarf as she walked her little dog around the senior mobile home park. I am so grateful this wonderful woman has been a big part of my life, and still is. Thanks for your reflections on the varied nature of love, M.

  6. John Ptacek February 19, 2011 at 4:42 am

    Hi Melinda,

    I check out your beautifully constructed blog and happened upon this older post. The picture of the Valentine card sent me back to my childhood. I remember handing them out in grade school and coming home with a big batch to show my mom.

    I agree with you. We should appreciate this moment, regardless of what it brings. To want nothing more is peace.

    Thanks for commenting on my essay which appeared on the change blog. As a hardcore Beatle fan, I should have picked up your reference the first time.


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