The Easy Place

The Quest for Self Awareness One Moment at a Time

Getting to Know “Me”

Last week I wrote about the importance of being who we are as opposed to imitating someone else.  I get it, it’s not easy.  We can be fully aware that we’re sounding like our mothers but still not know what to do instead. 

Long Grey HairWe need to start paying attention to our choices if we want to uncover who we are under all those habits and lessons we’ve absorbed over our lifetimes.  We can make fresh evaluations by shaking out those old routines and assumptions.  You’ve eaten cereal for breakfast every day since you were five – what’s right for you today?  We’re told that women over 40 shouldn’t wear their hair long – what hair length feels right to you?

Make it a habit to stop and check in with yourself on a regular basis.  For example, right now, at this minute, what’s your opinion about what I’ve written? Do you agree, disagree or something in between?  If you don’t have an opinion, take the time, this minute, to form one.  And even if you like me you don’t have to agree with me.  We might not think the same way but we’re both still ok. 

Which is the final piece to the puzzle.  We have to not only know what makes us tick, we also need to accept it, even if it means that we might be different from those around us.  I have a friend who loves to stay up and work until 1:00 or 2:00 in the morning and then sleep in until 10:00. These then, are the hours that suit her.  No matter what the rest of us might think of her schedule, her choice is as valid as my early bed time of 10pm. 

So if you don’t think the joke going around the office is funny, don’t pretend you do.  And your family can all believe that dinner time is at 6:00pm if they want – you still like to eat at 4:00.

It’s really up to you.


If you could design your perfect day, what would it look like?


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4 responses to “Getting to Know “Me”

  1. Raj January 14, 2011 at 7:32 am


    My perfect day starts with cereal for breakfast!!

    Is it any wonder why I am co-dependent with my own self? (But… cereal with one of those English muffins that are as thick as a house that you send for Christmas?!! Now that , I can say, is beyond perfection!)

    As I was reading your blog, I was reminded how wonderfully I treasure intimate friendship. Yet, it is such a vulnerable place, and one that requires truly loving ones self to be able to openly give that self to others. Yet, I think you have come close to that in your life.

    I just wanted to say how much I appreciate that you do it with such maturity. Your hearts desire to bring that joy to others is so very evident.

    Thank you, Mindy.


  2. Dawnika January 16, 2011 at 11:57 pm

    Love it! Great post! Good things to think about all around. Great idea to check in with yourself from time to time to ask, “what do I really think about this?”

    • Melinda January 17, 2011 at 8:46 am

      Thanks, Dawnika. I think “F’s” like us can get a little lost in creating harmony with thouse around us and lose connection with our own viewpoints. This is one I have to remind myself of, too!


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